Krissy

not that anyone ever reads this anyway

ok time for the sad, woe-is-me post time.

i’ve been on such a rollercoaster of emotions lately. if from the opening of this post isn’t obvious enough, i am on a bit of a down at the moment.

now i am actually quite a solitary person - i don’t mind being alone, spending time alone with myself, staying in, that sort of thing. but with all the things going on these past few months, i haven’t actually had much “alone” time, but i still have this horrible feeling of loneliness. 

i think at the moment i really only truly have two friends. the rest of the people i would call friends, i think would more be apt to be called acquaintances. i haven’t been involved in these people’s live for over 4 years, i don’t really know them anymore, and vice versa.

this is something i have really been struggling with lately. whilst the two friends i referred to before are the best friends i could ever have, i miss having a group of friends i can hang out with and socialise with. i’m sure i could try integrate back into the groups of people i used to hang out with before, but as i mentioned, so much has changed, plus there are other factors, that i don’t feel that i could really reconnect with these people.

i could make new friends, but i don’t know where i really could. my work is mainly guys, or people older than me where we have nothing in common. i don’t know where i could even make new friends. i’m also terribly shy around people i don’t know, so it takes me time to form friendships.

i guess i see other people hanging out with their friends and it just really makes me sad that i don’t have anything like that. i am sure one day i can have that again, but at the moment all i feel is lonely and that i will always be alone…